


Wanderers - Falling slowly

by Aurora82Borealis



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, it just takes some time, there will be love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-15
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-05-20 19:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6021559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurora82Borealis/pseuds/Aurora82Borealis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey is beginning her training with Luke Skywalker. She has to deal with who she is, who she has to become and with people in general as she cannot stay on that remote island forever.</p><p> </p><p>This is the first part of a series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rey

\- Rey -  
It’s only been a few days that Rey had spend on D’Qar. And already were she bound to leave the Resistance base in ordert to go looking for that remote location BB-8 and R2D2 had revealed when the two maps were joined. A rush of excitement travelled through her body when she thought of that magic moment when the location of Luke Skywalker had been revealed. That she had been chosen to go looking for him still felt unreal to the young woman who defined herself as “no one”. Maybe, after everything, she actually was someone.

She swung her legs over the edge of her cot and switched on the lights in the small room she had been assigned to. Even though she was supposed to leave that day already, General Organa had assigned her to one of the pilot’s quarters. She even had a room to herself. Most soldiers and even the pilots who often were granted some privileges had to share a room with one or two other people. But General Organa had argued that if she were to become a Jedi, she would have to continue her training even after she might return to the base. As Rey was not used to being treated as an equal or even more, she was worried to anger the senior officers for this treatment, but soon found out that most people meet her with nothing but honest curiosity. 

One of the last things she wanted to do before leaving the planet was checking on her friend Finn, who was still in a coma. She wanted to say goodbye to her friend, not knowing how long she would be gone or if he would still be on D’Qar when she might return. 

So she quickly got dressed, rearranged her ponytails and threw some water on her face in the refresher. She enjoyed taking a long hot shower but considered it an inexcusable waste of water to take them daily. After all she was just getting up and did not exercise or do any other strenuous workout. To cut it short, her morning routine had not changed with the small luxury she enjoyed on the base.

Leaving her quarters she started to jog down the long and winding halls of the base. She had memorized the way to the med bay, as she had been there each day since her return from the Starkiller base. It was only for a few minutes, that she was able to check on her friend, but she felt like she owed it to him. It was just a short way, at least compared to the long and tiring journeys she was used to from her isolated home on Jakku. 

Entering the med bay she was greeted by a doctor who was looking up from her report. “Good morning, doc.” Her greeting was met with a warm and welcoming smile. “No changes, Rey. But also no turn for the worse.” the doctor reassured her. “Have you come to say goodbye?” the older woman asked. “As a matter of fact, yes. The Falcon is being prepped as we speak and I’ll be gone by noon.” The doctor let her move on to the room where Finn lay motionless and sleeplike. He looked peacefully and calm, no visible sign of his injury giving a hint of his critical condition. Rey found it puzzling and irritating that the severity of his injury could actually not be seen. Silently she sat next to his bed watching the hardly visible movements of his chest when he breathed. The monitor on the other side of his bed beeped at a slow and steady rhythm indicating a slow but strong heartbeat. After a while she stood up and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead. “We’ll see each other again, my friend” She bid him farewell. Getting a little emotional, a tight knot in her stomach forming she retreated herself from Finns room, trying to get away before she could break out in tears. Without looking around she stormed out of the med bay involuntarily bumping into another visitor. “I’m sorry.” She said, looking up and meeting Poe Dameron’s gaze. They seemed to only meet in awkwards situations, this one not being any less embarrassing than their enthusiastic and spontaneous hug at the cheerful celebration of the revelation of Luke Skywalker’s whereabouts.

“It’s okay. Have you been visiting Finn?” the pilot asked her friendly. “Actually, yes. No changes, I’m afraid.” She answered. She knew that the pilot was also regularly checking up on him. She suddenly only wanted to get away, but Poe seemed to want to say more. Or so she thought.

“Listen, if you want me to, I can keep you posted on his status.” He offered. After all he was no stranger to comradery and thought he understood her hesitance. “That would be nice, thank you.” Rey answered with a small smile. Without another word she walked away.

*  
The flight was long – very long and very lonely. Even though Chewbacca was with her, he wasn’t too good at holding up a conversation. So instead of having a chat with a wookie – who was still mourning the loss of his best friend and letting out the occasional howl of frustration and anguish, Rey spent a lot of time wrapped up in her thoughts while sitting in the pilot’s seat, hugging her knees tightly to her chest. She looked at the blurry lines the stars made when travelling in hyperspace. Only a few days ago she had been a scavenger fighting for lousy rations by collecting unusable junk and the occasional spare part from decades-old imperial wrecks. Now, she was supposed to keep up the legacy of the mighty and legendary Jedi. She had made and almost lost a friend within the blink of an eye. She had witnessed the death of a legend and had experienced the power and the cruelty of the Force. And now she was – alone again. Sighing, she rose from her seat and stretched her sore limbs.

She wasn’t used to just sitting around and waiting for something to happen. She wandered the slightly claustrophobic corridors of the Falcon. From time to time she simply touched the old metal and wondered about the stories they would tell about its previous owner if it could actually speak. She closed her eyes trying to picture the small moments she had shared with Han Solo. He would have been a great teacher and great commander if she really would have gotten a job on this ship. Now, his widow simply had left the Falcon to her. At least Chewbacca was with her. Shouldn’t she be his co-pilot? But, she remembered that the towering Wookie simply didn’t fit into the pilot’s seat. 

She was interrupted in her trail of thoughts at the beeping of the comm. Chewbacca announced their approach to their destination. Rey jogged through the corridors and quickly made it back to the cockpit. She was greeted by green, a lot of green and a huge ocean. “Wow, this looks incredible.” She exclaimed. 

Landing the Falcon on the little island the map had marked as their destination was no easy task but Rey and Chewbacca managed to do it. When the young woman descended from the ramp and slowly walked away from the ship she felt her heart beating stronger and louder in anticipation. What would she find up on that mountain? Who would she meet? Would she really meet Luke Skywalker? Luckily General Organa had shown her a picture of her brother. Even though that picture must have been a few decades old, she had a vague idea of how the mighty Jedi might look like. How should she address him, if he was in fact there?  
Rey was not used to casual conversation, or thoughtful ones for that matter. Her breath caught up a little when she climbed the steep stone stairs that seemed to appear out of nowhere on the mountain. Who had built stairs on a mountain in the middle of nowhere, she thought. She had a lot of time for thinking as the way wans long, very long.  
The sun was at its highest point, when she reached the peak. A fresh breeze caught her hair as she paused for a moment to gather her courage and move towards a hooded figure that was looking in the other direction. 

Oh my god, is it really him? She thought. At a loss of words and not knowing what to do next she fished the lightsaber out of the satchel she had slung over her shoulder. The hand holding the lightsaber outstretched in front of her she awkwardly and slowly approached the hooded figure. The person turned around, removing its hood revealing a bearded face. Rey instantly recognized him as an older version of the person in General Organa’s photographs. She motioned the lightsaber in his direction as to return his belonging to him.

Silently and with a pained expression on his face Luke Skywalker acknowledged her presence. “I knew you would come here.” He simply stated. “The lightsaber is yours, I guess you already knew. It called you, right?”

“How do you know?” she wondered breathlessly. 

“The Force is strong in you.”


	2. Poe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oh, did you ask to be on the ground crew today? That can easily be arranged.” Poe threatened mockingly. 
> 
> “Well, if we do the same maneuvers as we did all week, I wouldn’t mind getting soaked in machine oil.”
> 
> “Careful what you wish for, Lieutenant.”

\- Poe –   
Groaning frustrated the best pilot of the resistance rolled over in his bed and hits the alarm clock a little harder than necessary. He throws the covers from the bed and steps sleepily into the refresher. His only wish at this point was to just get a good night’s sleep and not being haunted by nightmares of creepy force users inside his head poking around his memories. But since his escape from the clutches of Kylo Ren with the help of Finn and the destruction of the Starkiller base, his wish was not fulfilled. He filled his days with work and extra shifts on the ground crew whenever he wasn’t scheduled to fly. But even double shifts and long training sessions didn’t exhaust him enough to keep the dreams at bay. He wondered if Rey was troubled by these nightmares as well, having been told by General Organa that the brunette had also been “interrogated” by Kylo Ren. But as she wasn’t on D’Qar anymore, this option was not available either. Even though they had only met briefly – twice – he caught himself thinking about the young woman from time to time. No wonder, he reassured himself, after all she was the legacy of the Jedi – or so the talk on the base went.

So he went on his daily visit to the med bay, only to be greeted by a head shaking by the doctor. He was the only visitor to ask for Finn and each and every day the same response awaited him. The former stormtrooper was still in a coma, nearly four weeks by now. Even though the doctor didn’t say it, Poe suspected it was no good sign that Finn’s condition hadn’t improved by now. “Commander Dameron, you don’t look to good yourself.” the doctor offered her opinion on his appearance. “Trouble sleeping?”

“Well, there’s just a lot to do at the moment. “ the pilot lied without blinking. “Don’t overdo it, Commander. Especially with pilots there is an elevated risk of fatal mistakes on the job. We wouldn’t want to lose you just because you work too much.” Poe runs a hand through his unruly locks and looks down. He didn’t want to endanger himself or the people he was in charge of as leader of the black squadron. But he couldn’t face the night either. With a mumbled excuse he left the med bay and headed straight to the hangers. He had scheduled a briefing this early in order to keep his team alert and ready for whatever mission they were sent on. 

As soon as he arrived at the hangar, he grabbed his data pad with notes on the training he had thought up for his squadron that day. It was the same routine he had his team do the whole week already, but he didn’t think it was a bad idea to have them repeat maneuvers until he was satisfied with the result. Absentmindedly he chewed on his lower lip until something hit his head. Bewildered he looked up and met the grin of one of his new pilots, the seemingly ever-cheerful Jessika Pava. She originally was a member of the blue squadron but after the attack on the Starkiller base some pilots were reassigned to Poe’s black squadron simply to even the numbers between the squadrons. Jessika Pava had been one of the most eager pilots to serve under the best pilot of the Resistance. “Good morning, Commander. You seemed to be sleeping with your eyes open.” She mocked him cheerfully.

“Oh, did you ask to be on the ground crew today? That can easily be arranged.” Poe threatened mockingly. 

“Well, if we do the same maneuvers as we did all week, I wouldn’t mind getting soaked in machine oil.”

“Careful what you wish for, Lieutenant.”

One after the other the other pilots arrived at the hangar and took their seats on uncomfortable chairs. They were positioned in the vicinity of the X-Wings facing a wall where Poe had BB-8 project their flight plans for the day. The briefing only took half an hour and as soon as they were done, everyone headed for their aircraft. Shortly before Poe himself could climb in his X-Wing, he was called back by a ground crew member. 

“Commander Dameron, General Organa wishes to see you.”

“Now? We’re heading out on our maneuver right now.” He explained. “She wants to see you right away.”

“Jess, take over the squadron. Don’t deviate from the plan.” Poe ordered and descended his flight with a frustrated sigh.

*  
“General, you asked for me.” Poe introduced himself unceremoniously when he arrived at the control center. 

“Yes, let’s talk in private, Poe.” The General gestured him towards one of the offices adjacent to the big control center.

“Is everything alright?” the pilot asked.

“You tell me, Commander.” The General retorted raising an eyebrow.   
“I don’t understand.”

“You act a little irrational in the last few weeks, giving your squadron the same routines over and over again, you take extra shifts with the ground crew and off duty you retract yourself from your peers and work on your X-Wing. Do you care to elaborate?”

Knowing that it would be difficult to keep his thoughts and worries to himself from the General he stared at his shoes that suddenly seemed very dirty and messy to him. “I’m still a little new to the Resistance and the speed at which everything unfolds is a little overwhelming.”

“Do you think I’m a fool, Dameron?” General Organa scolded the younger man. “You’re not new around here. You’re one of the constants around here and your behavior leads the younger and newer personnel. Your example is taken in by your pilots at an almost religious extend. If you behave erratically, your people will do so, too. You are a leader and as such you have a responsibility to keep yourself in check. If something is going on with you, troubling you, it is your obligation to do something about it.”

“I’m sorry, General.” Poe felt his heart sink. He knew about all of these things but couldn’t help feeling disappointed and discouraged at the same time. “I’ll take care of it. I’ll be up to the usual standards. You can count on me.”

Leia Organa shook her head. “No, Poe. This is not what I meant. I don’t want you to stretch yourself even further. I want you to take care of yourself. Take it a little slower, don’t do extra shifts and please try to relax. You’re my best pilot and you should be in for a promotion soon. But I can’t promote a dead Commander who fell asleep on a maneuver. I can’t promote you, if you risk the lives of your peers by leading them into battle unprepared, either.” She explained.

“Vary the maneuvers, let them have a little downtime and get some sleep.” She ordered and caught him flinching at the mentioning of sleep. She decided to not talk about the issue any further. She saw how uncomfortable the pilot felt at her intervention. But she would keep a close watch on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist. I had to keep on writing. At the current pace it will still take me a few chapters to bring POe and Rey on the same planet. I just enjoy exploring the characters too much.
> 
> Also, I don't know how fast I can update in the next few days.
> 
> Thanks to the two guests who left kudos. I wouldn't mind comments, either ;-)


	3. Rey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know that you came here following my sister’s orders. And I also am very aware that what I can teach you here is very limited. But I had to make sure that you are actually ready to become a Jedi. “
> 
> “So, am I? Do you think I can be a Jedi?”, she asked eagerly.
> 
> “I was sure once before. Even though I didn’t actually teach Ben, I thought he would become a good Jedi.” Luke paced the room, picking up a framed photograph – one of the very few personal items he seemed to possess – and stared at it for a moment. “We will return to D’Qar. I need to talk to my sister. “

\- Rey –  
The weeks passed her by in a blur. After having introduced herself to Master Luke, which was met by a very strange non-reaction by the Jedi, he reluctantly offered to teach her the basics of mastering the Force. He argued that untrained she would be a threat to the universe and could easily fall prey to the dark side. So he had invited her to stay on the island.

The hardly spoke outside of training. For Rey this was okay, as she liked to keep to herself and not be forced to interact with others that much. After all, she had grown up in solitude and only interacted with others when she had to. She was not necessarily a loner, but she was used to being on her own. And Master Luke – as she started to call him respectfully – seemed to prefer his solitude as well. She sometimes asked herself why he was so reserved and unapproachable, but he had never asked for her to come and find him. She practically felt like and unwanted intruder on that island who only was trained in order to not bring chaos to the galaxy. What a change from being “no one” to becoming a threat.

Her training consisted mostly of a lot of running up and down the Jedi steps, that’s what Master Luke had called them and being told to use the force to enhance the speed of running up and down that hill. Even though Rey was fit (or so she thought of herself) this part of the training was a daily routine and made her even stronger. Another constant in her training involved the little silver ball she had found on the Falcon. Somehow Master Luke had known it to be there and he instructed her to deflect the little laser beams that shot out of the ball at unforeseen intervals. She even had to wear a blindfold in order not to rely on her eyesight but really trying to guess the little robots next move by the help of the Force. And of course there was meditation on her schedule, a lot of meditation. Master Luke had told her it was the most important thing for her to be at peace with herself and to achieve that she was supposed to reflect on her feelings and memories. Easier said than done, when you have lived on your own for more than a decade, have hardly any memory of who your family was and being swept into a giant adventure without any warning. But still she tried.

After having been on the island for more than a month, Rey grew a little impatient. Being a Jedi must be more than sitting on your butt and thinking about yourself, she thought. So she took heart the best she could and walked up the mountain to go looking for Luke Skywalker again. She knew by now that the taciturn Jedi lived in that half destroyed stone cabin halfway up the hill. She hesitantly knocked on the weather-beaten wooden door not really knowing if she would want him to answer or not.

“Come in, Rey.” Her question was answered and she slowly pushed open the door. Her eyes needed some time to adjust to the little light the room held. It was a small, rectangular room with only little furniture. She peered around the room not wanting to appear nosy but not able to help herself either. 

“It’s okay. Curiosity is definitely not a trait that immediately leads you on the path to the dark side.” Master Luke assured her. “After all, being a curious person means you care. You care about what is around you, and most likely you care about others. Even if you haven’t meet a lot of people to care about in you life.”

She hadn’t expected a lecture or lesson, but hungrily she took in every word he said. Rey longed for more information on being a Jedi. Little did she know that what Luke told her was more or less just a lesson on how to be a decent human being. 

He emerged from the shadows and walked into the center of the room putting down a leather-bound book on a wooden table. “But you didn’t come here for a lesson, am I right?”

Rey cleared her throat and started a little shakily “Well, I was wondering why we train here? And, well – why I’m only doing physical exercises all day. I was supposed to learn how to be a Jedi. I am already an athlete and I know how to hold my own in a fight. Isn’t there more to being a Jedi?”  
“You remind me of a Jedi I once knew.” Luke retorted with a wary chuckle. “Eager, impatient and hungry for knowledge. And you have a sense for adventure. This is always a tricky combination. I’m not sure about you.”

The brunette frowned. She wanted to say something; only she didn’t really know what to say. 

“I know that you came here following my sister’s orders. And I also am very aware that what I can teach you here is very limited. But I had to make sure that you are actually ready to become a Jedi. “

“So, am I? Do you think I can be a Jedi?”, she asked eagerly.

“I was sure once before. Even though I didn’t actually teach Ben, I thought he would become a good Jedi.” Luke paced the room, picking up a framed photograph – one of the very few personal items he seemed to possess – and stared at it for a moment. “We will return to D’Qar. I need to talk to my sister. “

Rey could hardly conceal her excitement. It not only meant for her to continue her training and maybe really become a Jedi but she could also find out if Finn finally had woken up. It suddenly occurred to her that she hadn’t thought about him at all in the time she had been on the island. She suddenly felt bad about it. Wasn’t she supposed to worry about her friend? Was she a bad friend?

“It is okay to not constantly think about the people you care for. I made sure to occupy you with many tasks and a strict training here. This is new to you, too. So is friendship, I presume? You’re learning how to be a friend as well. That’s another reason for us to go to D’Qar. I cannot be the person to teach you friendship; you need other people for that.”

In these few minutes Master Luke talked more to her than in the last few weeks they had spent together. He didn’t actually tell her about himself or appear any less reserved, but at least he talked at all. “Am I allowed to have friends? I thought that Jedis were supposed to not engage in feelings and attachments.”, she asked.

“Oh, that old mythical Jedi code?” Luke frowned. “See, in the time when Darth Vader was trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Jedi were supposed to live celibate. Forbidding emotional attachment made him conceal his relationship and drifting off into the darkness. When I trained the next generation of Jedi and didn’t train Ben, because he was family, that didn’t work out either. Excluding emotions and attachments is obviously not the way of the Jedi.” He explained. “So, I think it is okay for you to have friends, it’s okay for you to love – as long as you don’t become possessive or obsessive over other people. These traits lead to the dark side. But compassion and honest affection belong to the light.”

Rey felt relieved to hear that, even though she had no idea where the lecture on love factored into her training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're moving a lot slower than I anticipated. But I like getting into the heads of these characters and toying with their emotions. But expect to see Rey and Poe meet in the next chapter, prepare for another awkward moment for them.


	4. D'Qar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey focused on the task at hand and tried to shield her emotions a little better. She asked herself if Finn was awake by now. Probably Commander Dameron had just forgotten to tell her or had forgotten about her altogether. She looked forward to seeing his little droid BB-8 again. That little fellow certainly hadn’t forgotten about her.
> 
> “Rey, you’re doing it again.” Luke Skywalker scolded her. “Are you a teenager or a Jedi?”
> 
> “As a matter of fact, I’m neither, Master.” She couldn’t hide the wide grin.

When the announcement of the imminent landing of the Falcon was broadcast to the war room, a cheer erupted from the personnel on duty. Leia smiled a tired smile. She knew that her brother was aboard the ship; she had received a transmission from him a little earlier. He had sounded troubled when he announced he needed to speak to her in private. The General looked searchingly around the room and found her most trusted pilot instantly “Commander Dameron, please arrange a greeting party for the Falcon. It’s Chewbacca, Luke Skywalker and Rey. Please make sure they aren’t assailed by the whole base at once. They deserve a moment of rest before the inevitable happens.” She ordered him. “And by the inevitable I mean the party you and your pilots have arranged in secrecy.”

“Not so secretly if you already know it, General.”, Poe retorted with a crooked smile. “I’m sorry if this annoys you, but it was totally out of my hands once the others heard, that Luke Skywalker was finally found and actually was joining us.”

“I know you flyboys, Poe. Just keep it civil. After all, we do not want to scare away Luke with your shenanigans.”

“Again, General – I need to correct you on this. It’s not all boys here. Believe me when I tell you, that the idea originated with Captain Karé Kun and Lieutenant Jessika Pava. And as far as I’m informed they don’t really cherish the term fly-boy.”

“Aren’t you a little annoying sometimes, Commander?”, Leia raised an eyebrow both indicating that she didn’t mean this words verbatim but still wanted this discussion to be concluded.

Poe smiled warmly and with a half salute left the war room. He was excited to see the great and mysterious Luke Skyalker in person. His parents had told him so much about the legendary Jedi when he grew up it was like meeting a godlike figure. He hid the fact that he anticipated seeing Rey from his conscience as best as he could. After all, he had not once contacted her in the past weeks. There simply was no news on Finn he could have passed on to her and he felt stupid just contacting her without Finn as an excuse, even if he was eager to talk to her. His steps grew slower as he approached the hangar the Falcon was directed to. Why exactly was he so nervous all of a sudden? 

The dark-haired pilot told himself it was just a natural reaction to be nervous when you’re about to meet the greatest legend in the universe. And it surely had nothing to do with the fact that the person who was bringing back said legend was a stunning and fascinating young woman with the cutest smile he had ever seen. After all, they had just exchanged one awkward hug and only a few words in passing. 

*  
Rey was eager to leave the Falcon. She loved flying the legendary ship and spent a lot of time training with Luke Skywalker while on their journey to D’Qar, but she felt crowded by the to other persons in this small spacecraft. She felt restless and nervous as they descended to the surface of the green planet. 

“Calm your nerves, Rey.” Luke Skywalker advised her as she made the approach to the hangar. “I don’t question your abilities to fly the Falcon, but your emotions betray you.”

“I’m sorry, Master Luke.”, she retorted blushingly. “It’s just that the few people I know are down there. I haven’t seen them in weeks and I honestly don’t know if they want to see me as much as I want to see them.”

The seasoned Jedi frowned and slightly shook his head. “Your friends won’t have forgotten you in just over two months, Rey. True friends can wait that long and still appreciate your return.” In his head he asked himself how a few decades would factor in this scenario. “But please stop broadcasting your excitement. Show a little restraint. Not everything the old Jedi code taught was wrong.” He added.

Rey focused on the task at hand and tried to shield her emotions a little better. She asked herself if Finn was awake by now. Probably Commander Dameron had just forgotten to tell her or had forgotten about her altogether. She looked forward to seeing his little droid BB-8 again. That little fellow certainly hadn’t forgotten about her.

“Rey, you’re doing it again.” Luke Skywalker scolded her. “Are you a teenager or a Jedi?”

“As a matter of fact, I’m neither, Master.” She couldn’t hide the wide grin. “You told me it’s still a long way for me until I may call myself a true Jedi. And I’m definitely not a teenager anymore.” If only hardly, as she only had touched her twenties recently. She composed herself to appear more seriously and older for that matter. She didn’t want to anger Luke Skywalker who finally had started speaking to her outside of training sessions. Smoothly she landed the Falcon and switched off the engines. Outside she saw people running towards the spacecraft attaching tubes and cables to several outlets. Chewbacca instructed them from the helm and gestured Rey to leave. “Are you sure? I’m sure, General Organa wants to greet you, too.” she answered his howling and growling.  
Another low growl assured her to join Luke Skywalker. “Thank you, Chewbacca. Well, you have the helm.” She shortly hugged the gigantic Wookie and left the ship.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw. A dozen pilots (it’s easy to recognize them in their bright orange and white uniforms), the ground crew of the hangar and a couple of droids awaited them with a happy cheer. She had not envisaged such a reception. Shyly she half hid behind Luke Skywalker who himself reacted with a chuckle to the welcome party. “Well, I had asked my sister for a small greeting party. If this is small, I don’t want to know what a big celebration entails these days.”

Leia Organa emerged from the crowd and walked swiftly towards them. She gave Rey a warm smile and went on to hug her brother tightly. “You have no idea how much I missed you, Luke.” She greeted him. “I’m sorry, Leia. About everything.” He simply answered with a pained expression on his face. Her cheerful smile instantly faded away and was meet with her usual frown and a sudden expression of despair. “We have a lot to discuss.” She composed herself and stood as straight and as tall as a petite person could. 

“Thank you for convincing my brother to return to us, Rey.” She smiled. “The more frivolous part of this welcome is aimed at you. Many people around here want you to feel at home. Of course I have no knowledge of the party that is supposed to happen later on in the mess. I just want to warn you about it.” General Organa gave her a warm smile with these words.

Rey was completely taken aback by this information. She had only spent a few days on D’Qar and people wanted to celebrate her return with a party. Did this mean that Finn was awake? But she couldn’t spot him anywhere in the crowd. Instead of him, Commander Dameron approached her and greeted her with a small smile. “Hi Rey.”, he cordially reached out to her and shook her hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t contact you. But there were no news on Finn, I’ afraid.” He blurted out. “I can take you to the med bay, if you want.” He offered instead and bit his lower lip when he realized that he kind of ambushed her with this suggestion. “But then again, you probably still know the way there. And you only just arrived.” His babbling was meet with a curious glance by General Organa. She never had seen him so nervous when talking to someone, only when she had confronted him with his strange behavior a few weeks ago.

“Thank you, Poe.” She answered and tested the sound of his name when she said it. She had never addressed him before, and it felt strange to her to just say his name without any rank our surname. She felt her cheeks turn a fine shade of pink. She didn’t know where this came from and tried her best to conceal her embarrassment. “I’d really like to see Finn right away. Have you visited him recently?” 

“I saw him this morning. The doctors assured me he’ll wake up soon. But don’t be shocked when you see him. He lost a lot of weight. They do feed him with these tubes and everything. But with no movement his muscles lost their purpose. And he’s quite pale. But they told me, he’s doing fine apart from the not waking up part.” Poe updated her on their friend’s status. Nonchalantly he asked “Have you missed him a lot?”

Rey blushed even more but for a different reason than Poe might actually think. “Well, I feel like a really bad friend. I was so immersed in the training Master Luke had come up for me that only on my last day on the island did I start to realize how long I have been away and what you might be doing in the meantime. I didn’t expect to find Finn still in a coma.”

 _What you might be doing?_ Poe raised an eyebrow in surprise. _She thought of me?_ He cleared his throat when they arrived at the med bay. “Listen, I can come with you if you want me to. But I think you’d rather see him on your own, right?” Poe offered and Rey nodded slightly. She didn’t mind the pilots company but she wanted to be alone with Finn and alone on her own for a while. 

“Are you coming to the party tonight?” He asked her hesitantly. After all he didn’t know if she would actually enjoy a party. “If you promise to protect me from too many questions I might join you for a while.” She answered. She felt like she could trust Poe Dameron. He was BB-8s master and Finn’s friend, too. 

“Okay, than it’s a date.” He smiled and biting his lip realized what he had just said.

Rey was not familiar with the concept of a date and just took it at verbatim. “Okay. I’ll meet you there.” She simply agreed and turned around to enter the med bay. She couldn’t see the stunned expression on the best pilot of the resistance’s face as she left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot longer than planned. I was anticipating writing the Poe/Rey dialogue and once I started, they got a life of their own. I hope you like it. Leave a comment if you want ;-)


	5. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, I always wanted to fly an X-Wing.”, she evasively retorted. 
> 
> “That can be arranged.” Poe grinned and looked at her expectantly. 
> 
> “What about now?”
> 
> “You did have a drink. I couldn’t possibly let you fly intoxicated.” He laughed. 
> 
> “But you could at least show me your X-Wing.” 
> 
> “Believe me, you wouldn’t want to go there now. It’s really not a good idea to hang out at the hangars at night.” Poe ran a hand through his tousled locks and bit his lower lip.
> 
> Jessika and Karé, having observed the conversation curiously both simultaneously burst into laughter. “Yeah, you would never hang out at the hangars at night.” Jessica teased him.

Rey had been in the mess for about an hour when she started to feel incredibly tired. She wasn’t used to so much conversation and she was especially confused by the interest all these people she hardly know took in her and what she had to tell. As soon as she had arrived at this gathering they called a party, Jessika Pava and Karé Kun, two distinguished female pilots, who both had fought in the attack on the Starkiller base, had jumped her. They had escorted her to one of the tables in a corner of the room and soon had started to introduce her to the vast supply of alcoholic beverages and started to question her in a very friendly way about her past. It had taken some time for Rey to warm up to the idea of talking about herself. But after one or two drinks she finally started to enjoy the situation, occasionally giggling and laughing with the others. Still, it was a tiring experience.

She glanced around the room searching for the promised company of Poe Dameron, who had agreed to meet her at this party. He was nowhere to be found and she felt her heart sink a little. As he was one of the few people she had talked to before on D’Qar she felt a little disappointed that he apparently didn’t show up. But being an important Commander within the Resistance he seemed to have more pressing matters to attend to.

“Dameron, over here.” Reys looked up at the yell and saw Jessika gesturing wildly at the pilot as he entered the mess. “I hope you brought more booze.” She greeted him and hugged him, before moving over to let him sit with them. She had left the seat between herself and Rey for him.

Poe produced a bottle from the pocket of his leather jacket. “Sorry for being so late to the party. You all look quite tipsy already. I don’t even know if you would value this beauty.” He gestured at the bottle. “My private stash, real rum from Yavon 4.” he explained and only then allowed himself to look at Rey.

She was wearing her hair in her three customary buns, some loose strands of hair framing her face. She actually didn’t look tipsy at all, but she looked tired. She had her feet pulled up on the chair she was sitting on, and hugging her arms to her knees. Before he could say anything to her, his friend Karé announced “Did you know, that Rey learned to fly only with the help of a simulator on Jakku? Flying the Millennium Falcon with only ever having trained on a simulator? This is incredible.”

Poe eyed Rey curiously. “You had a simulator on Jakku?”

“I built it from spare parts I found in the desert.” Rey explained and shrugged. “There wasn’t that much to do after sunset. You better not try to go outside at night there. Playing with the flight simulator was a nice pastime.”

“You built the simulator?” Jessika Pava interjected and threw her hands up in disbelief. “I’m already on the verge of a nervous breakdown when something more serious than filling up the X-wing has to be done. And you built the whole thing on your own?”

Rey felt a little uncomfortable being singled out as some sort of mechanical prodigy. “Well, I sort of earned my living with finding good spare parts and making appliances work again. It’s not a big deal, after some years you kind of get a hang of it.”  
“What about that rum, Dameron?” Karé tried to change the subject. She was one of the more quiet people, too. Poe smiled at her, having noticed that Rey didn’t want to be the center of attention, too. “Well, it’s quite strong and we should keep it out of plain sight or the guys start to gossip again that I favor you two.” He gave Jessika and Karé a knowing look. He knew that behind his back people gossiped about his friendship with Karé Kun and the easiness of his exchanges with Jessika Pava. He knew about the rumors, that said he was having an affair with either one of the women some rumors even made him the lover of both of them. It was a mystery to him how the concept of honest comradery and friendship appeared to be lost on people as soon as the friendship involved both males and females.

Rey just listened to the exchange between the pilots. Having lived on her own for all of her adolescence and grown-up live she didn’t understand all of the hints and references. It sounded like a different language to her, even though they spoke basic.

“You know, I envy you for flying the Falcon.” Poe had turned to Rey and watched her closely. “This ship was a legend even when I was just a child. I always dreamed of one day getting a chance to fly it.” 

Even with just a limited experience in small talk, Rey got the message. He wanted to be invited to fly the Millennium Falcon. But with everything that happened on the Starkiller base and how she became its most recent captain and pilot, she didn’t feel like letting anyone else steer that legend. “Well, I always wanted to fly an X-Wing.”, she evasively retorted. 

“That can be arranged.” Poe grinned and looked at her expectantly. 

“What about now?”

“You did have a drink. I couldn’t possibly let you fly intoxicated.” He laughed. 

“But you could at least show me your X-Wing.” 

“Believe me, you wouldn’t want to go there now. It’s really not a good idea to hang out at the hangars at night.” Poe ran a hand through his tousled locks and bit his lower lip.

Jessika and Karé, having observed the conversation curiously both simultaneously burst into laughter. “Yeah, you would never hang out at the hangars at night.” Jessica teased him.

Rey, totally oblivious to their allusion, asked “Is it dangerous there? Or why would it be a bad idea? I can take care of myself.” She got a little defensive. Just like she hadn’t liked Finn taking her hand on Jakku, she didn’t really like being mothered by Poe Dameron, someone who she just met.

“I’m sorry. Ignore them.”, he asked her. “They are having a field day in mocking me. Probably because I made them do an extra round of simulator training this morning.” Poe looked at Karé Kun pleadingly. He didn’t want Rey to know about the stories surrounding him. Not even half of the stuff people told about him was even true.

Before either of the women could tease him any further, the pilot got up from his seat and extended a hand to Rey. “If you want to have a look at my flight, let’s go.”

Bewildered she took his hand, too surprised at his change of hearts to protest and got up from her seat as well. They made a beeline for the exit. Poe ignored the curious stares as best as he could and was thankful for Rey’s naiveté concerning gossip. He knew that they would be the topic of the day. 

*

“Why were they really mocking you?” Rey asked the pilot when they walked down the halls towards the hangars. “It couldn’t be about a training, Jessika had already told me that she had a great day. And training at a simulator when a real X-Wing is at hand doesn’t equate to a good day. At least not in my world.” She explained.

Poe sighed. He didn’t want her to think badly of him, even if he wasn’t sure why her opinion of him suddenly felt so important. “Well, some people regard me as something special and noteworthy. So they observe me and if they think I do something questionable, news of it travel fast. And what starts as an innocent comment quickly evolves into some sort of story or legend. And the more often these things occur, the more colorful the image that surrounds me gets.” He tried to stay as vaguely in the description as possible.

A knowing smile appeared on her face. She might have grown up in a desert with only little room for romance, but she was not completely inexperienced in human and physical interactions. “So, they were trying to warn me about you?” She blurted out. “Because you are a bad boy?” She teased him. It somehow felt natural and she enjoyed teasing him.

It was Poe’s turn to feel embarrassed. Nervously he ran a hand through his hair. “Well, as I said, not everything you might hear is true.” Muffled he added: “Only some stories are true.”

“Commander Dameron, don’t worry about me. I only care about your spacecraft.” She explained lightheartedly, not entirely believing her own words. “And as I said before, I can take care of myself.”

Somehow the best pilot in the resistance felt like she had punched him in the guts. Before he only had admired her, now, that she had told him she was only interested in the X-Wing, he realized, he was very much interested in her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst or Fluff... what might happen next? I honestly don't know. But I'm leaning towards the angst...


	6. Hangars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do you want to hide in my office?” Poe offered smilingly. He started to see her point. “I sometimes stay there after hours, too. There’s always a report to be written or a training to be planned. So nobody really cares about me staying there.”
> 
> “But if you let me hide there, where would you hide?” she asked. She very much liked the idea of sneaking off with a book or something to repair and just being left to her own thoughts.

-Hangars-  
Looking back at her old life on Jakku, the view in front of her felt more like a dream than reality. Reys eyes glistened with excitement as she looked at the X-Wings parked in a neat row in the large hangar. She never before had found the time to just walk down there and just gaze at these beautiful space crafts. She just stood frozen in place in the doorframe. Having lead a scavenger life and dismantling space crafts for spare parts had given her an admiration of mechanical appliances. Toying around with the flight simulator she had assembled from rusty spare parts had given her a love for flying. Of course that wasn’t half as good as real flying, but looking over the X-Wings in front of her made her want to just hop in one of them and just soar towards the stars and moons in the sky.

Poe smiled at her “You know, you are allowed to actually enter the hangar. There’s no need for you to just stop here.” He teased and gave her a soft push to the back. The short and innocent moment his hand touched her back made him stop in his tracks for a moment, too. Was it his ego or was there more to this sudden urge to be near her, just moments after she had declared only taking an interest in his space craft and nothing more? He shook his head trying to leave this sudden felling behind as he followed her into the hanger, when she finally decided to enter the large hall.

“Which one is yours?” she asked him breathlessly motioning at the X-Wings. Poe pointed to the right and said.” If you promise not to break anything or even worse, start the engine, you can get in there.” Just seeing her so in awe made his heart beat a little faster. He just wanted to see her happy, that was what he told himself. And of course, he wanted her to be happy, to see her wide grin, her honest smile and those beautiful hazel eyes. He would even fly with her, if he didn’t have to break a hundred rules to do so. And him flying drunk was something he definitely didn’t want to be the newest rumor on the base. 

Being in a very close proximity to the young Jedi felt very appealing to him all of a sudden. He envisioned the two of them together in the X-Wings pilot seat. Not so appropriate thoughts followed and Poe cleared his throat. He couldn’t really say where these thought suddenly came from, but seeing her get enthusiastic about his X-Wing made him realize just how much he took a very personal interest in her. He watched her, taking in every tiny detail of her perfect face and figure. 

“Are you coming?” Rey asked him, having already climbed the ladder to the cockpit of Poe’s X-Wing. She was already peering into the interior of the one-seat spacecraft. “Even if I hadn’t been drinking, we couldn’t take a tour in your spacecraft together.” She stated. “There’s only room for one person.” Disappointment prominent in her voice she descended from the cockpit, landing directly in front of the pilot.

“Well you could take the simulator tests and be allowed to officially fly an X-Wing – just not mine.” Poe smiled at her and added “I could ask the General to assign you to a squadron, if you want.”

“Flying one of these babies truly would be amazing. But I don’t think Master Luke would be too thrilled if he had to cut our lessons short.” Rey sat down on the floor and tugged at one of her shoelaces.

“Is he a strict teacher?” Poe asked curiously and sat down next to her.

Rey answered, “I don’t really know. He is very generous in giving advice and I learned a lot already. But apart from the pure instructions we hardly speak. It’s strange and very lonely.”

“If you need anyone for talking, I’m here.” Poe offered with a small smile. 

“Oh, I didn’t want to sound desperate or abandoned. I’m used to being on my own. It’s more challenging to deal with the sudden interest in my person by practically everyone her at once. This party thing, this is more challenging than being on my own.” She explained. “But it’s nice to know I have a friend to talk to.”

They sat in silence for a while. It was not an uncomfortable silence; each one of them was caught up in their own thoughts. The alcohol in Rey’s bloodstream had its effect and she was slowly getting caught up in a drowsiness she couldn’t fight off for long. She stifled a yawn and fought hard not to fall asleep. “I like the calm.” She said and smiled at Poe. “And I like envisioning myself in the cockpit of your spaceship. I bet I’d make a great fighter pilot.”

“I bet you would.” Poe agreed. “After all I heard about you, I think you could easily become the second-best pilot for the Resistance.”

Rey chuckled. “Oh, I’d challenge you on that one. I bet, I could even win the title of best pilot of the Resistance.”

They eased into this form of playful banter and jokes, enjoying each other’s company. Poe tried to shrug of the thoughts he had harbored just moments before and decided to be a friend for Rey. After all, she wasn’t only a Jedi and the hope of the galaxy, but she was also really young, at least ten years younger than him. Whatever he had dared to fantasize about earlier, he best forgot about it right away.

“You know what really dazzles me?” Rey suddenly said. “It seems like everyone on the base knows me better than I know myself. The thing you mentioned earlier about people talking about others. It happens to me, too. But they all seem really friendly and interested in me. But I don’t really know how to talk to people all the time.” She played with a loose strand of hair. “There’s always talking going on. I’ve noticed it before I went to see Master Luke and it already tires me now. And I’ve only been back for a day.”

Poe watched her closely. He didn’t want to intrude her privacy, but he wondered what bothered her about talking to people. “Small talk is not so bad as you make it. You just have to practice a little and get a hang of it. It’s no different to flying or repairing a motor. It takes practice and patience.” For him, talking to people felt natural. He enjoyed the company of friends and colleagues. The real thoughts and his really personal feelings were tightly sealed to himself. But some superficial banter and fun didn’t bother him. He even hardly ever cared about the gossiping. 

“It’s a little bit of a waste of time, don’t you think? Why talk about the weather, when in reality you’re interested in someone’s past. Just ask them and get over with it.” She sighed in frustration. “But having to tell my personal story in riddles over and over again is so tiring. I sometimes wish to just disappear and be left alone. But Master Luke told me not to hide in my room.”

“Do you want to hide in my office?” Poe offered smilingly. He started to see her point. “I sometimes stay there after hours, too. There’s always a report to be written or a training to be planned. So nobody really cares about me staying there.”

“But if you let me hide there, where would you hide?” she asked. She very much liked the idea of sneaking off with a book or something to repair and just being left to her own thoughts. 

“Jessika got her own office last week. She took her desk. So there are a lot of bookshelves, a desk and a couch in my office. I don’t mind you being there.” He smiled. “And if you want to be there on your own, I’ll happily leave my hideaway to you for the time being. 

Rey took this offer and started sneaking off at night to sit in Poe’s office. She often took a book from his bookshelf and buried herself in learning everything there was about flying and the history of the Republic’s armed forces. She enjoyed the solitude but never felt lonely when she sat in his office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me forever to finally upload this chapter. Hopefully the next one won't take this long. There's still a lot left to be told.


	7. Gossip and truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, who is the lucky girl?” Jessika started.  
> “Or should we say the unlucky one?” Karé grinned. “After all, you look totally miserable.”  
> “Well, unfortunately it isn’t me. But then again, you wouldn’t look like you took a punch to the gut if it were me.” Jessika boldly proclaimed.  
> “What are you talking about?” Poe looked up from his plate, totally puzzled. “Are you out of your mind, you two?”

**7  
-Gossip and truth –**

“How long do you want to keep up this charade? She has a right to know!”   
Poe stopped in his tracks when he heard General Organa’s loud agitated voice. Something seemed to seriously anger her. He knew it wasn’t polite to eavesdrop – especially not on his Commanding Officer, but he couldn’t turn away or move on. His steps would definitely give away his presence.  
“I can’t tell her. What will she think of me?” he heard another voice, unmistaken Luke Skywalker. It sounded serious and Poe couldn’t help but get curious.  
“You should have thought about that before training your own daughter, maybe even before abandoning us all and leaving her on her own.”  
“You know I had no choice. This is unfair.”  
“Yes, unfair to all of us. After all, she’s the only family we have left and I can’t even tell her that she actually is not alone.”  
Holy krif – they’re talking about Rey. It dawned on him, that he had just overheard something big.  
“And neither are we right now, Leia.”

Luke Skywalker emerged from the office and gestured at Poe to come closer. “It’s not nice to eavesdrop on your General, Commander Dameron.” The Jedi scolded the younger man. The Jedi tried to sound intimidating and commanding, but given his current state of unease he faltered in trying to be exactly that.

“With all due respect, Master Skywalker, but isn’t it impossible to eavesdrop on a Jedi? Didn’t you feel my presence from the moment I entered the hallway?” He couldn’t resist a cocky grin. “And you were arguing so loudly, you’re lucky it wasn’t Rey herself who overheard your secret conversation.” And with that, his facial expression darkened a lot. The revelation of her heritage was a shock all for itself.

“Poe, please keep that between us. You weren’t meant to hear it and we have to trust you to keep this secret.” Leia asked from him a worried frown on her brow.  
“She’s my…”, Poe struggled at the correct words. “My friend. How could I keep this from her? She trusts me. I will not betray her like that and withhold information she so desperately seeks.” 

Leia shook her head and gave him a small smile. He reminded her of Han in situations like these. Maybe that was the true reason why she liked the young pilot so much. “It is not your secret to tell, nor mine. And if you truly care about your… friend that much, you will keep this to yourself.”  
Poe had noticed how the General had paused for a moment before the word friend and he felt himself blush a little. 

“You care about her, and I’m thankful she found friends here. But please leave the family business to the family.” 

“General, you know me for my loyalty. But I don’t only have to be loyal to my General, but also to my friends. How are they supposed to trust me if I lie to them?”

“We will find a way, Commander.” Leia answered ambiguously and turned to Luke continuing with a scolding tone “And you make sure to not break anymore hearts and destroy more friendships with your secret. Isn’t this what destroyed the Jedi in the first place? Lying? And fear? Make it right, Luke.”

*  
It was hard for Poe to live with this burden. He couldn’t believe that Rey actually was the daughter of the last living Jedi. Who was her mother? He knew that his parents had been friends with Master Skywalker, but never had they mentioned him being married or having a companion at least. Had they known? Was this all part of a big mystery? Who else might know? It made him feel even worse seeing Rey being totally oblivious to the fact that she had two living members of her family unknowingly nearby. She had a father and an aunt. And she knew nothing about it. 

He spent his days either on patrol or locked in his office making up complicated and dangerous training routines. After all the war hadn’t stopped around them and he wanted his team fully prepared for when they moved bases – which should happen any day now.

He was a lot more silent than usual and tended to keep to himself. So he was a bit taken aback when his friends cornered him in the mess. While he was sitting by himself and chewing down his meal – he didn’t even notice what he ate – Karé Kun and Jessika Pava plopped down on either side of him and started teasing him.

“So, who is the lucky girl?” Jessika started.

“Or should we say the unlucky one?” Karé grinned. “After all, you look totally miserable.”

“Well, unfortunately it isn’t me. But then again, you wouldn’t look like you took a punch to the gut if it were me.” Jessika boldly proclaimed.

“What are you talking about?” Poe looked up from his plate, totally puzzled. “Are you out of your mind, you two?”

“Well, you come up with suicidal training plans, you don’t talk and to top it of, you are becoming a loner.” Jessika summarized Poe’s current mood. “Beebe-Ate is fully functional, so it has to be a girl. Or is it a guy?”

Poe raised an eyebrow. “Believe me, if I were pining over a boy, this would be the number one news on the base. And I would leave a trail of broken hearts behind me.”

“Yeah, you are known to breaking women’s hearts. Never heard of a boy before.” Kare agreed. And she had served with Poe in the New Republic starfleet for many years before defecting to the Resistance with him and Iolo Arana. “Anyways, what’s up with you?”

Poe set down his fork and knife and threw his napkin on the plate. “Nothing, just very much to do. After all, we won’t stay on this base forever and the squadrons need to be prepared.” He got up from his seat and left the mess. “Or do you not care about transferring safely to the new base?”

“So – it’s a girl, right?” The two pilots nodded to each other and grinned. “Let’s find out who is troubling our dear Commander.”

*  
After the intermezzo in the mess, Poe decided to retreat to his office. He actually did have more work to do, even though it was pretty late already and he was tired and drowsy already. He opened the door and was greeted by an all too familiar scent in the air. 

_She was here._

Since he had offered Rey to use his office whenever she wanted to, he noticed the little changes to the room. He never actually met her there, but he could always tell when she had been in his office. Usually one or two books were missing from his bookshelf, only to reappear in a different place of the shelf a few days later. Some spare parts he had had lying around on his desk (after all, he two had mechanical skills) disappeared one day and reappeared a few days later. She must have repaired the parts, because they had looked neat and clean – and were actually working. Poe smiled to himself at the thought. It must have been Rey’s way of thanking him for the haven he had offered.

But the most remarkable sign of her having been in his office was the faint scent of machine oil mixed with flowers, a most unusual and hardly to notice scent, which he had come to love a lot.

Poe sat down on his couch and sighed. “Oh boy, I’m doomed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter, but I had to stop at the perfect moment. I'm still writing, so maybe the next chapter will be around sooner that expected.
> 
> btw, what do you think of Rey's heritage?


	8. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had started shortly after she had returned to D’Qar. The voice that crept into her dreams and threatened to take away her sanity. _I could show you the way of the force._ The haunting voice told her over and over again at night.
> 
> Rey bolted upright, panting and shivering. ...

**8**  
\- Nightmares-  
It had started shortly after she had returned to D’Qar. The voice that crept into her dreams and threatened to take away her sanity. _I could show you the way of the force._ The haunting voice told her over and over again at night.

Rey bolted upright, panting and shivering. She drew her knees up to her chest, hugging her legs tightly to herself. She tried to stop the angry tears from falling, but couldn’t help but cry. She wasn’t afraid of Kylo Ren and his presence intruding her dreams. She was angry, very angry. The voice inside her head felt so intolerably intrusive, she felt bare and exposed and there was no place for her to hide from these thoughts. Angrily she threw the covers from her bed and started pacing in her room. Everything felt too small and too claustrophobic. She needed to get out. 

When she opened the door and stepped into the corridor, she already felt a bit better. But when closing the door with a loud crash, she realized that her anger and frustration had vented in an outburst of force-heightened power. She made a mental note to herself to check the hinges of the door upon her return. She didn’t want to cause more rouble by destroying Resistance equipment. 

Unsure of where she should go to release her anger and frustration she started to roam the corridors. She didn’t even know where exactly she was going, until she realized that her subconscious had guided her to Poe Dameron’s office – her secret hideaway. Slowly, trying not to make a noise and be noticed she opened the door and entered the room without bothering to switch on the light. She knew her way around the cramped confines and only wanted to cuddle up on the small couch. But she realized she wasn’t alone this time.

A certain sleepy pilot groaned when the little light hit his face when she had opened the door.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I thought I was alone.” she stammered and wanted to leave again. A sigh of frustration escaped her mouth.

“It’s okay. I guess there’s room enough for two people to hide from the rest of the base.” The pilot said with a stifled yawn.

“Do you sleep here? I thought a pilot of your rank had nice quarters?” Rey curiously inquired. 

“I must have fallen asleep while working.” Poe lied. He very obviously had not been working or the room would not look as tidy as it was at the moment. Rey knew that he always put away his work stuff before leaving. But she decided to let it go. Instead, she took a seat next to him on the couch, careful not to intrude his personal space, which was a bit difficult.

“Are you alright?” Poe asked a little too alarmed. He wondered if Luke had finally spilled the beans on being her father and quickly realized that he probably shouldn’t even think about that in the presence of a Force user.  
Rey shook her head. “To be honest, I’m not okay. I’m furious. I could hit a wall in anger. And the bad thing is, I’m not allowed to let anger consume my thoughts. Dark side and so on.” 

“Maybe, you should talk about it?” Poe offered and glanced over to her. She had a frown on her face that gave her a small wrinkle above her nose. Hadn’t she been this upset, the pilot would have found her expression endearingly cute. 

“What’s there to talk about? Kylo Ren violated my mind and I keep seeing flashbacks of his torture in my dreams. This makes me angry and there’s no way that meditation can calm me down. So, I’ll get in trouble with Master Luke and he’ll probably stop my training. After all, being angry can lead me to the Dark Side.”

“If you’re so conscious about the dangers of anger, I think you’re safe from the Darkness.” Poe offered. Calmly he added “But if you ever find a way to get rid of these dreams, please let me know.” He looked down on his hands and sighed, “I have them, too. And I don’t have access to the Force to keep his vile intrusions at bay.”

Rey looked up in surprise. “Oh yeah, that’s true. You had been taken before me. I’m sorry.” She stood up and started pacing the small room. “It’s horrible that such a vile creature like Kylo Ren still has power over us. It’s unfair and I should have finished him off when I had the chance.”

“What would your Master say to such murderous thoughts?”

“He would disagree, of course. He tells me that not killing Kylo Ren was an act of compassion and that this truly shows my light side. But let’s be honest, it was easy to get away for me when the ground literally split open between us. I don’t know what I had done, if he wasn’t saved by the explosion.”

“Well, than you have me to blame for that. After all, my hit caused the explosion.” Poe grinned a slightly cocky. He felt the situation needed a little banter. And it worked. Rey smiled at him and shook her head.

“How could I blame you? You saved the day. You’re a hero.”

They way she said it, full of honesty and innocent admiration made his heart skip a beat. How could she be so strong and innocent at the same time. How could she not be aware of the effect she had on him. It took a lot of willpower on the pilot’s side to not simply reach out and kiss her. But he was too aware of their respective positions and the fact that she was so much younger than him.

“What’s the matter?” Rey asked him.

“Are you reading my mind?” he anxiously enquired, earning him a look of disapproval from the young Jedi.

“I would never ever do that – to anyone. Do you think I would intrude anyone’s thoughts after having lived through such an intrusion myself?” She had put her hands on her waist and glared angrily at him.  
“Sorry, I was just caught up my thoughts and you asked.” He started to stammer a little.

“Well, I don’t need to be a Jedi to see that you were obviously troubled by whatever came up to your mind. You get wrinkles on your forehead and around your eyes when you do that.” She explained. 

Poe extended his hand to apologize. “I truly am sorry. I’m not used to the presence of a Jedi – or two, if we take your master into consideration as well.” 

Rey took his hand and shook it lightly, noticing each little bruise and every callus on it. His hand felt warm and ensuring. She felt comfortable and strangely protected by the little touch. “I’m not used to being a Jedi – or Jedi in training – either. Everything is new and strange, I’ sorry I got upset.” She went back to the slightly uncomfortable couch and sat down with a sigh.

“So, what are we doing about these nightmares?” Poe asked her. 

“I don’t know, but I’m neither enraged nor tired anymore. So you seem to be a perfect remedy for me.”

He smiled at her and suddenly had an idea “Do you care for a ride in an X-Wing? We could catch the sunrise.” 

She beamed at him enthusiastically. “How would we fit in an X-Wing?”

“I had a team convert one of the older models for training purposes. You could co-pilot.”

“That’s amazing.” She threw her arms around his neck and planted a chaste kiss on his cheek. “I’d love to catch the sunrise with you.” And with these words she was halfway out of the office, leaving behind a very puzzled and slightly blushing Poe Dameron. His words from the night before escaped his lips again “Oh boy, I really am doomed.”

Quickly he went after her, grabbing his helmet and a spare one that always set on the shelf as he left the office.


	9. How do people date on Jakku?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, it’s good you’re no longer there, then.” Jessika grinned and had Rey stare at her in disbelief. Before she could answer, and she meant to say the she wasn’t looking for romance here, either, a wildly beeping and chirping BB-8 swooshed into the mess.
> 
> “Finn has woken up.” Poe and Rey translated in unison and both quickly jumped from their seats and ran down to the med bay without another word.

Rey’s face was flushed and her hair hung wild around her face. With a wide grin on her face she entered the mess, closely followed by an equally grinning Poe Dameron. “This was amazing. We should do this again.” The prospective Jedi exclaimed as they collected their breakfasts. “You truly are a natural.” Poe smilingly agreed. 

They walked over to one of the tables, taking seats across from each other and discussed the flying experience with enthusiasm. They were soon joined by other pilots, among them of course Jessika Pava, who had caught on bits and pieces of their conversation but coming to a different conclusion.

“Well, you two seemed to have a lot of fun together” she matter-of-factly stated trying to hide a smirk.

Totally oblivious to the connotation in her voice Rey answered “Oh yes. We had a great morning, or at least I did. We went flying in the new training X-Wing.”

Jessika eyed Poe curiously. “We do have a training X-Wing? I never knew of such a thing.”

“Yeah, I had one built, with new recruits filing in, it seemed like a god idea to have some live training between the simulator sessions and a real mission.”

“Cool, can I book training sessions for it, too?” Jessika was eager to have her recruits get some more practice, too. But she also had a suspicion, that something else was the matter with her commander.

“So, are you joining a squadron, Rey?”

“I don’t think so. I will have to finish my training with Master Luke before taking on another mission. And I don’t really know whether I’ll be just a Jedi or a fighter as well. Master Luke himself was a fighter pilot before becoming a Jedi, so who knows.”

Poe had known about this, as his parents had served in the rebellion together with Luke Skywalker, General Organa and Han Solo. But it only now dawned on him, that Rey could also become a pilot if she wanted to. He wasn’t so sure if he wanted her to be. He didn’t really want to be her commanding officer. He moved his breakfast around on his plate, thinking about the implications of Rey possibly being in one of the squadrons and under his command. Suddenly a new topic between the two female pilots at the table caught his attention.

“So Rey, I know this must be a bit forward to ask, but I long to hear about different cultures in the galaxy.” Jessika started “But tell me, how do people date on Jakku?” At this Poe almost choked on the sip of coffee he had just taken. This fact didn’t get lost on Jessika, who smirked contently.

Rey simply shrugged and looked over the remains of the food on her tray. “I wouldn’t really call it dating. I only got introduced to this tradition since living here on the base. On Jakku, if you considered someone to be attractive or pleasant to be with, you would arrange a meeting in a bar, discuss your material worth and see if a joining of efforts would promote each individuals goals. If this were the case you would then see if you fit physically.”

“This doesn’t sound very romantic. Where are the passion, the heart ache and the longing?” Jessika stared at the young woman in disbelief.

“Jakku is not a romatic place. People tend to see things in a more practical way.”

“Well, it’s good you’re no longer there, then.” Jessika grinned and had Rey stare at her in disbelief. Before she could answer, and she meant to say the she wasn’t looking for romance here, either, a wildly beeping and chirping BB-8 swooshed into the mess.

“Finn has woken up.” Poe and Rey translated in unison and both quickly jumped from their seats and ran down to the med bay without another word.

“Something is up here.” Jessika Pava declared and shook her head grinningly.

*

“I’ll wait here with Dr. Kalonia. I guess he’ll want to see you first.” Poe motioned towards Rey who was eager to see her friend finally recovered. “Nonsense, he’s your friend, too.” Rey objected.

“Actually, it is better if he only has one visitor first.” The doctor interfered. “And he has asked for Rey, to be honest.”

The young woman was then ushered in the room that no longer felt so desolate and quiet. She was greeted by the widest grin she had ever seen in a person’s face and rushed towards the bed, throwing herself at Finn in a wild embrace. “I’m so happy you’re back.” Rey had trouble speaking as she was suddenly struggling against tears building up. 

“Hey. It’s okay. I promise I don’t die. Not today at least.” Finn smilingly promised. “God, I have been sleeping a long time, haven’t I?” 

“It’s good to have you back. And I’m sorry, but I didn’t finish of that monster. He would have deserved it, but when the whole planet started to fall apart, he was saved by a big crater between as.” Rey sighed regretful.

“Oh, I already am up to date on the glorious victory over the Starkiller Base. And you’re a Jedi now. Incredible.”

“Well, I’m not a Jedi. Not yet. Actually far from it. Master Luke only started to teach me the way of the Force. There’s a lot to learn. And well, today I was allowed to fly an X-Wing for the first time. So who knows, maybe I’ll rather be a pilot.”

Rey had sat down on the edge of the bed and started to observe her friend. “You look pale and thin. You really need to get out of here as soon as they let you. You have no idea how beautiful this planet is. By the way, it’s called D’Qar.”  
A soft knock on the door was heard and Poe Dameron stuck his head in. “May I intrude?” He calmly and unusually reservedly asked. 

“Come on in, buddy.” Finn grinned and stretched out his arms. Obligingly Poe hugged his friend and said: “It’s good to have you back, man. You got us really worried for weeks.” Poe looked from Rey to Finn and back. “But I really don’t want to intrude on your reunion. I just wanted to check on you. As soon as they let you out, we’re having a party. First round is on me.”

“Thank you, Poe. Say hi to Beebee-Ate from me.” Finn didn’t mean to kick his friend out of the room, but he wanted to have Rey for himself for a moment. Poe got the message and left them. “See you later at the hangars, Rey?” It was more a question than a statement, to which Rey nodded in agreement.

“Do you have training right now?” Finn asked her, trying to get her attention back. “In e few minutes, I’m supposed to meet Master Luke. But I guess he understands if I spent a few minutes in here. He is no stranger to being in a coma himself either.”

“Wow, you really got to know to Luke Skywalker and General Organa. That is so crazy. What else have I missed?” Finn asked. 

“I met your friend, Poe Dameron. He took me flying this morning.” Rey grinningly told Finn, whose smile faltered just a little at this information. “Oh, yeah. Poe Dameron. He’s great.”

“I might challenge him to his title “best pilot in the resistance”, soon” Rey grinned. “I got to know to the whole squadron. They are really amazing people. They do party a lot and I don’t always want to be with them for that, but everyone here is so nice.” She scratched her head. “We might leave for a different planet, though. So get on you feet to enjoy the climate. Who knows where the base will be located next. If we’re unlucky, it’s a desert planet like Jakku.”

“Oh no. Please not Jakku” Finn exclaimed. “I wonder how I can fit in here. I want to be a part of the Resistance. But I’m no pilot and no Jedi. So, what could I contribute?”

“I guess you can contribute a lot. There aren’t many people who are so strong to defect from the First Order or save two lives while doing so.” Rey assured him with a proud glance. “General Organa is a wise woman. She will find the perfect mission for you.” Rey hopped down from the bed and squeezed Finn’s arm. “I have to meet Master Luke. But I’ll be back later, I promise.”

She walked out of the room, leaving behind a contemplative ex-Stormtrooper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured I had neglected BB-8 and will try to include him more. And also, to stir things up a little, I decided it was time for Sleeping Beauty aka Finn to wake up.
> 
> I hope to do the character justice, as I'm not terribly invested in his story. Please point out to me, if my characterization of Finn needs rework. And I also promise, that I will neither have a love triangle nor a polyamoric route planned for the Trio.


	10. Time to find a new home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The following days went by in a blur. Poe and his team had intercepted encrypted messages detailing the fact that the First Order had regrouped and started to gather forces again. After all, they only had lost one (very gigantic) weapon, not their whole fleet. It looked a lot like they were targeting D’Qar. The plans to relocate the Resistance headquarters to a different planet had to be moved up. Both Rey and Poe were involved in the tasks. Finn had been assigned to General Organa directly, once he was discharged from the med bay. He was in lengthy debriefs in order to get every little glimpse on the workings of the First Order.

The following days went by in a blur. Poe and his team had intercepted encrypted messages detailing the fact that the First Order had regrouped and started to gather forces again. After all, they only had lost one (very gigantic) weapon, not their whole fleet. It looked a lot like they were targeting D’Qar. The plans to relocate the Resistance headquarters to a different planet had to be moved up. Both Rey and Poe were involved in the tasks. Finn had been assigned to General Organa directly, once he was discharged from the med bay. He was in lengthy debriefs in order to get every little glimpse on the workings of the First Order.

One evening they were all in the mess together, eating silently. Rey let out a yawn and rubbed her eyes, fighting not to fall asleep. But she was hungry and wanted to fill her empty stomach before retreating to her quarters.

“How is the loading of the equipment going.” Poe tried to keep her awake by asking about her day. 

“We’re getting a lot done. But it is just a huge amount of machinery that needs to be put on different cargo vessels. The little freighters run several times a day to the orbit to unload everything onto the big ships.” No trace of the former scavenger could be noticed when Rey spoke about her daily duty she had been assigned to do. “The downside is of course, that Master Luke and I don’t train anymore. But he was assigned to freighter duty as well.” The prospective Jedi took a large gulp from her teacup and finished off the remaining slices of bread on her plate. “Is the location of the new base still need to know? Or can you share it with us?” 

Poe sighed. “We’re splitting up. One group is going to Hoth and another group is going to stay afloat for a while. I have no idea if we all end up in the same group and which one it will be at all.”

Finn raised an eyebrow and explained: “I’m pretty sure I’ll be staying near the General.” Being reminded of his remark of being a big deal in the resistance, Rey chuckled and added: “Yes, we know. You’re the Big Deal. Of course you’re staying with General Organa.” 

“Will you ever let this little lie go?” Finn asked her.

“No, I don’t think so.” Rey retorted laughingly.

Poe observed the banter between the two with a little suspicion. He envied them slightly for their easy friendship. He befriended both Finn and Rey, but what the two had lived through had bonded them together in a way that he had missed out. Ever since Finn had woken up, the pilot hadn’t been able to spend as much time with Rey as he wished. And Finn was no longer the insecure defected Storm Trooper who had saved Poe’s life. He was sort of a hero to everyone on the base.

“I’ll let you two dwell in your war stories.” Poe got up from his seat and took his tray with him.

Rey watched him leave with a little bewilderment. “It must be hard to split up the squadrons for him. I’ve never seen him like that”, she mused, which earned her a chuckle from Finn. “I don’t think that this is his problem.”

*  
“Poe, can I talk to you?”

The pilot looked up from his chart and met the gaze of his friend. “Sure, Finn. What’s up?”

Finn walked over to the black X-Wing and softly touched the metal hull. “No wonder you aced at flying that TIE-fighter. This ship is beautiful.” Even though Finn was neither an expert in these things nor particularly interested in space ships. But he wanted to find an easy topic to discuss before asking about the thing that really was on his mind. 

“Are you sure you came here to discuss my X-Wing?” Poe knew that something was up and he feared that Finn would ask about Rey. Chewbacca had told him all about the bravery that Finn had shown on the Starkiller Base. And he himself had known that Finn only had gone there to save Rey.

“Actually, no. But I feel strange asking you this.” Finn sighed. “But since it is likely that our paths will soon lead us into different directions, I’d simply like to know one thing.”

Poe stared down at his shoes. This could get uncomfortable. And he usually wasn’t in a situation like this. He looked up and saw the sadness and frustration in his friend’s eyes.

“Is it about Rey?” the pilot asked.

“I know that she only sees me as a friend.” Finn sighed. “She told me often enough. But I see how you act around her. And I wanted to know if, well, if there is something going on between the two of you.”

Poe grinned. “We seem to share a destiny here. She very bluntly told me some time ago that she only hangs out with me because she wants to fly my X-Wing.”

Finn smiled with relief. “So, there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”

Sadly Poe shook his head. “Nope, we’re only friends.”

“But you wish it were differently?” Finn wasn’t done yet with his questioning. 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m too old for her anyways. And I suspect she’ll be in the group with you and the General. I’m used to being on long term missions in space. So it’s likely I won’t end up on Hoth with you. So, don’t worry. I’ll be out of the picture soon. Maybe she changes her mind about you.” Poe got up and threw the chart on the chair he had been sitting on. He grabbed a tool and started working frantically on his X-Wing.

“I don’t think it works that way, Poe. This is not something we can decide among ourselves.” Finn laughed. Even though he had been raised as a weapon, not only a soldier, he had a basic understanding of relationships between people. Having spent an intense amount of time with the fierce and independent Jedi, he didn’t think Rey would agree to what Poe had just suggested. “You see, she would kick both you and me in the butt, if she knew what we are discussing right now. And you should not decide these things without even talking to her.”

Poe was taken aback by the lecture his young friend just held him. “You’re right. But we are leaving D’Qar in a matter of days. This truly is not the place, or time for romance or silly big announcements. She made it clear before, that she wants to be my friend. And I won’t risk this friendship by telling her that I like her a little more than a normal friend.” He grabbed the toolbox and started to walk away. “Let it go, okay?”

*  
Finn and Rey were sitting on the lawn near the hangar. They had discussed what had happened on the Starkiller Base and were now gazing into the setting sun.

“Would you have ever thought to see something like this?” Rey asked her friend reflectively. 

Finn looked at her and let out a small sigh: “Nothing that happened to me in the last six months was anything I ever expected to do in my life. It all happened because I witnessed Kylo Ren murder a village full of innocent people.”

“I know what you mean. None of us would be here today, if it weren’t for you and your conscience.” She beamed at him proudly. “I think you’re the most noble person I ever met.”

“But you haven’t met a lot of people in your life now, haven’t you?” Finn joked. But he couldn’t hide the proud smile that graced his face. 

Rey playfully nudged his shoulder and said: “I have met many people while you were sleeping. There are in fact a lot of nice people here on the base. I will miss them, when we are assigned to different teams.”

Finn watched her closely. Should he address the most obvious person she could be talking about? He decided against it. It wasn’t his job to play matchmaker after all. “What do you think, will you end up in the group going to Hoth?”

“I don’t think so, Master Luke will probably have different plans than being on an ice planet.”

In this moment, BB-8 appeared behind them and let out a series of chirps. 

“What did he say?” Finn asked, still not able to understand the little droid.

“General Organa has called everyone to a meeting. I guess we’ll find out where we are going very soon.”


	11. See you soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone was gathered in the main hangar. It was time to say Goodbye. Leia looked at her brother and Rey. “Take care, the two of you. I would prefer to have you with me on Hoth. But as soon as my very stubborn brother sets his mind onto something, there is not going back on his plans.”

Everyone was gathered in the main hangar. It was time to say Goodbye. Leia looked at her brother and Rey. “Take care, the two of you. I would prefer to have you with me on Hoth. But as soon as my very stubborn brother sets his mind onto something, there is not going back on his plans.” She hugged the young woman tightly. She wished, Luke would already tell her about her heritage. She would prefer to bid her niece Goodbye, not some random Jedi who had happened to inherit the Millenium Falcon by chance. But it wasn’t her place to tell.

“We’ll follow you to Hoth, soon. But we have to go to Dagobah first. It is essential for Rey’s training.” Luke explained and went into the Falcon. 

Rey was left behind on her own. There were more Farewells to be bidden. Finn and Poe both walked up the ramp to her. Finn hugged her first. “Take care. Try not to go over to the Dark Side. I heard this can happen.” He tried to joke. 

Rey’s eyes welled up with tears she didn’t want to shed. “Don’t worry. I have a great teacher who will not let this happen.” She kissed Finn’s cheek. “Please, don’t get hurt again. Those months with you in a coma were no fun.” She suddenly didn’t want to leave her friends. Having never known friends made it even more difficult to leave those precious few behind, who had shown her kindness and love.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be on Hoth. What can happen there?” Finn smiled and walked away slowly.

It was now Poe’s term to say Goodbye. “Jessika and Karé wanted to say Goodbye, too. But I moved up their schedule and they are already in the orbit. Sorry for that.” The pilot explained and suddenly didn’t know what to say to Rey. 

“It’s okay. Say hi to them when you meet them.” Rey stared at her shoes. The suddenly seemed to be very interesting and she didn’t dare to look into Commander Dameron’s dark brown eyes.

Equally at a loss of words the pilot simply hugged her and whispered, “Be careful out there. You’re an amazing pilot, but you’re a little reckless. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Rey smiled and looked him in the eyes: “Well, I must have taken this from my flight instructor. He is known to be a little reckless himself.” She returned the hug and said: “Take care of yourself, too.”

Slowly, Poe let go of her, already starting to miss her warmth and the scent of machine oil mixes with flowers. “I’ll keep some room in my new office for you. As soon as I’ll join the group on Hoth, I’ll make sure there are enough random spare parts for you to repair and enough books for you to borrow.” 

“I’d love that.” Rey grinned and watched him leave the ramp of the Millenium Falcon. As he walked on, she shyly said: “Poe, wait.” She walked down the ramp, not caring about the other people in the hangar. She softly declared “It is not true, you know. The thing I told you back then, after the party.”

Poe raised his eyebrows, not entirely sure what she was referring to.

“When I said, I only care about your spacecraft. That’s not true. I do care about you.” She kissed him on the cheek and ran back to the Falcon, hurriedly running up the ramp and hiding inside the cockpit.

Poe was left behind in the hangar, smiling sheepishly. He might be doomed, but it was so worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note:
> 
> I had to cut the end short, as I noticed I have too many things going on that I wanted to address. Of course, will they get together or not? (most likely they will, but how?) Will Rey learn the truth about her heritage? What about Finn, what is his story? What about the other pilots?
> 
> I decided to end my story here and continue with these questions in a sequel. I hope to see you there again. 
> 
> I’m already planning the sequel and hope to start uploading the first few chapters within the next week.
> 
> About the title:
> 
> “Wanderers”  
> I first wanted to address both Rey and Poe being unable to sleep due to the nightmares they suffer from Kylo Ren’s torture. But I found so many stories taking up this aspect that I didn’t want to dwell on an idea that so many others had taken up before me.
> 
> I added the “Falling slowly” part, when I realized it will take them a long time to come to terms with their feelings. And “Falling slowly” from the “Once” soundtrack is one of my all-time favourite songs. And I listen to it often, when I write.

**Author's Note:**

> Please be kind. It’s my first real fan fiction and English is not my first language. I have two more chapters already planned, maybe more. 
> 
> Also, even if Rey's heritage is not clear at the moment, in my story, it will be revealed soon. More conflicts and emotion possible that way ;-)
> 
> If anyone would volunteer as beta, I'd gladly accept grammar and dialogue experts.


End file.
